I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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