Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize