Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
