so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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