You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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