nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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