grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
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