I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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