we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
