I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
