you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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