he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
3 2 1 whiskey
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