i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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