whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize