I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
