hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
