It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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