You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
