making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
