If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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