i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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