I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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