Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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