My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
