Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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