Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
