i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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