So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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