your room smells of hookers.
And success
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
