hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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