I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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