Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
