They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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