Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
