So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
