shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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