I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He? As in you personified your dick?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
