So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
