And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
