everyone is single if you try hard enough
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
