Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
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My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
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PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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