What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
