My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
