it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
