She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize
