She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
