So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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