U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
