Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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