it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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