She's JV to your varsity
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
