Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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