Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize