You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
