she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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