i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
