Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
