Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
