me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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