how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
