I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
