Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
