....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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