Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
