I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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