i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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