New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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