Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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