Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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