ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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