i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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